MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #2

Confidence is a skill that can be developed and strengthen by your accomplishments and achievements, as long as they are acknowledged by yourself. Recognize and acknowledge your smallest accomplishment, while expanding your skills into other areas, only then you develop and practice confidence. By anchoring all your positive experiences and accomplishments you take a step away from depressive, pessimistic, and anxiety provoking thoughts. Welcome confidence and say bye to depression and anxiety.

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MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGY

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #1

Depression is feeling sad, helpless, and hopeless. Anxiety is being terrified of the unknown. Lack of self-confidence is a common factor in both conditions. You cannot feel confident AND helpless at the same time. You cannot feel confident that no matter what happens you will be able to deal with future problems AND be anxious at the same time. If you consider yourself or a loved one to be depressed and/or anxious you can help yourself (or your loved one) by increasing your self-confidence. How? More blogs on confidence to follow...

or contact Dr. Bita at info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: OCD and Self-Confidence

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has several subtypes such as checking type, contamination type, and symmetry, which are all about checking, decontaminating, and creating order. An individual with OCD needs to check and recheck to reassure himself of safety, order, cleanness etc. and still does not feel reassured that he did lock the door or that his hands are clean or that an asymmetrical book shelf is not related to bad things happening. And so OCD becomes a disease of “doubts”. It increases self-doubt and decreases self-confidence. Strengthening self-confidence by increasing your knowledge (especially about the obsessions) and becoming increasingly fact-oriented are effective ways to overcome self-doubts and eventually the OCD.

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MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: OCD

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by intrusive repetitive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive , ritualistic behaviors (compulsions). Compulsive behaviors serve to neutralize the (uncontrollable) obsessions and as such decrease the anxiety that is the byproduct of the obsessions. However, it is important to note that the anxiety relief following a compulsive behavior is short term and it actually strengthens the anxiety provoking obsessive thoughts. In other words, obsessive thoughts evoke anxiety, compulsive rituals are practiced to decrease the anxiety immediately, which in turn reinforce the obsessive thoughts and as such increase the anxiety in long term.

To treat your OCD, it is crucial not to respond to your obsessions and recognize that your obsessive thoughts are NOT realistic. It might help you to think of your OCD as “the monster” and of obsessive thoughts as “the monster talking”. More you listen to “the monster”, more you strengthen its powers. The best way to beat “the monster” is to ignore it. Only then you start teaching yourself that you do NOT have to engage in any compulsive behaviors in order to feel safe and calm.

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DR. BITA, MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Burnout & Depression

The prevalence of burnout with accompanied depression and anxiety has been increasing and more and more employees are affected, and as such the frequency of sick leave among employees has been augmenting.

Burnout is a serious health problem that can be triggered by a combination of work-related and personal stressors such as acute and chronic stress, extreme demanding work environment, tense relationships between employees and employer and managers, income that is proportionally less then job's demands, low self-confidence and other personal proble

ms. Thus, it is understandable that a person affected by burnout might be feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, hopeless, helpless and might also be questioning many things in her life. Usually, taking a break from day-to-day responsibilities and stressors as well as increasing social interactions and pleasurable activities can help the individual recharge her/his "b

atteries", become energized, and as such allowing a faster return to work. Given the importance of increasing pleasure to break the depressive cycle, it is crucial for insurance companies to understand this concept and not penalize their recipient-employees for having fun while they are supposed to be "sick".

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MONTREAL / WESTMOUNT PSYCHOLOGIST

Montreal Psychologist: Burnout and Depression

The prevalence of burnout with accompanied depression and anxiety has been increasing and more and more employees are affected, and as such the frequency of sick leave among employees has been augmenting.

Burnout is a serious health problem that can be triggered by a combination of work-related and personal stressors such as acute and chronic stress, extreme demanding work environment, tense relationships between employees and employer and managers, income that is proportionally less then job's demands, low self-confidence and other personal problems. Thus, it is understandable that a person affected by burnout might be feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, hopeless, helpless and might also be questioning many things in her life. Usually, taking a break from day-to-day responsibilities and stressors as well as increasing social interactions and pleasurable activities can help the individual recharge her/his "batteries", become energized, and as such allowing a faster return to work. Given the importance of increasing pleasure to break the depressive cycle, it is crucial for insurance companies to understand this concept and not penalize their recipient-employees for having fun while they are supposed to be "sick".

DR BITA, WEST ISLAND PPSYCHOLOGIST: Anxiety

In the recent years, the prevalence of anxiety and anxiety disorders has been increasing. This is not surprising given the fast forwarding society and the growing competition among employees and professionals. We are living in an individualistic society, in which you can ONLY depend on yourself and if you are not fast enough you might fall behind and fail to survive.

Living in such environment is anxiety provoking, as you feel that you constantly have to live in future, predicting and preventing potential future problems. It works for many people, as it creates an illusion of control. But it lasts only for a short time, as our lives are changing and with every change we need to foresee other sets of potential problems. The result: We are living to survive! How long does this go on? Forever. Because life means change. Life means problems and facing challenges.

The good news is that it does not need to be this way. With a touch of an artistic talent to balance your life, you would be able to learn when to use your survival instinct and when to enjoy the moment and live in here-and-now. While you plan for the future, you need to accept that you cannot control everything. While it is important to be in control, it is also necessary to relinquish control. Everything is good in moderation. The key word is BALANCE!

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DR. BITA, MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Male Sexual Arousal Disorder

Male Sexual Arousal Disorder

Performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction (difficulty obtaining and/or maintaining erection), premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation are different types of male arousal disorder. Usually, the main source of all these difficulties is psychological; however, it is important to rule out physical sources.

Society has been kind of unfair to men by placing unrealistic norms and expectations on men in regards to their sexual performance. In many cultures male sexuality and virility is a sign of “manhood”. Pleasing the female sexual partner at every sexual interaction and being able to maintain your erection just long enough that is suiting your sexual partner is expected. In other words, society and cultures have fed us with many myths and misconceptions in regards to male sexuality and their “sexual performance”. As a result, many young men are affected by theses sexual pressures placed on them by the social norms and even though many of these norms have changed many young men continue to hold onto them and believing they must be certain way in regards to sexual performance.

It is important to erase all these expectations placed on men and give sex and sexuality a new look. Sex is about pleasure, has no norms and boundaries as long as both partners consent to the act. Women and men both carry the same level of responsibility in initiating sex and pleasing each other. Sexual act is not a performance but an act, during which both partners have the same goal: pleasure and reproduction for some couples.

That being said, there is no shame in not being able to maintain or obtain erection, in having premature or delayed ejaculation. It is important to identify the source(s) of the problem and remove all the sexual fears and replace them with positive sexual thoughts and phantasies. Remember that stress, fatigue, and long working hours are common sources of sexual problems. Often seeing a psychologist can help you identify the source of the problem and offer coping skills such as stress management and cognitive restructuring (modifying your negative thought patterns).

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DR. BITA, WEST ISLAND PSYCHOLOGIST: ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger is regarded as a destructive feelings and is highly avoided or frowned upon by society. It is important to note that actually, anger is a healthy feeling and is very much needed for the survival. Anger provides us with the energy we need to fight, to stand up for our rights and to get things done. The goal for anger management is not not to become angry but it is rather important to understand the reasons of your anger and learn what to do with the anger. In other words, anger is not a bad feeling but what we do with it can be unhealthy and maladaptive. Anger management will help you learn how to challenge the intense energy followed by the feeling of anger into something positive and constructive.

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WEST ISLAND PSYCHOLOGIST: Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is defined by a low or absence of sexual desire for sexual activity. This is considered a disorder only if it causes distress for the individual and/or for the relationship. HSDD can be caused by different factors and as such identifying the roots of the problem is essential for the treatment.

Physical or mental illnesses, fatigue, pain, hormone deficiencies, stress, insomnia or inadequate amounts of sleep, pain during intercourse (for women), erection problems, premature or retarded Ejaculation (for men) could be counted among factors that negatively effect sexual desire.

Improving overall quality of life such as learning more adaptive stress management and communication skills, increasing physical activity, improving sleep and diet have shown to be linked with overall mental and physical well-being. Usually, referral to a psychologist for sex and couples therapy is the treatment of choice. Relationship enhancement and marital therapy, improving sexual relationship, and enhancing sexual repertoire have shown to be beneficial in treating HSADD.

If you or your partner are experiencing low sexual desire, talk with each other openly and discuss how you can improve your life style and eventually if you need to see a psychologist or a sex therapist.

If you have more questions, you can ask Dr. Bita at info@drbita.com.

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MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

Sexual dysfunctions are often the cause of marital or couples difficulties but are also sometimes triggered by couples problems. Couples would benefit to recognize that when a partner is experiencing any type of sexual dysfunction, the problem belongs to both of them and as such taking a team approach in treating the problem would not only enhance their relationships but also facilitate the treatment of sexual dysfunction. It is not uncommon to see that the partner directly affected by sexual dysfunction feels guilty, while the other partner feels frustrated, which adds to the guilt of his partner and the guilt further impacts the sexual problems and so increases the frustration of the partner. If you are affected by sexual dysfunction such as lack of sexual desire or sexual arousal, you do not need to feel guilty or embarrassed but rather try to understand the problem and invite your partner become your support in the journey of recovery. Talking about the problem openly and honestly, will remove the unnecessary pressure and the tension that usually builds up between the couples. In addition, often seeing a psychologist, who has experience in treating sexual dysfunction can help you overcome your problem. If you want to learn more about a specific sexual dysfunction and potential contributing factors, read more on the upcoming series on sexual dysfunction or ask Dr. Bita.

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MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: PTSD AND HAIITI

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating mental disorder, which is experienced in response to a traumatic event such as near-death experience, being raped, violated etc. PTSD leaves the individual with a loss of sense of safety and security, feeling detached from self, recurrent nightmares, flashbacks, and hypervigilance (heightened alertness) among many other symptoms, and is accompanied by depression and anxiety.

PTSD affects the person’s level of functioning, its relationships and physical health.

In addition to the person being directly affected by the trauma, also people, who are helping could be affected. This condition is also called “vicarious trauma”. Given the recent tragedies in Haiiti, a lot of attention has been given to the victims from Haiiti and interventions have been in place to help. It is; however, important to recognize that first line workers such as the policemen, firemen, doctors, and volunteers from across the world could be experiencing “vicarious trauma”, and as

such be in need for proper medical and supportive attention. The symptoms of post trauma usually subside within 3 months, and as such a diagnosis of PTSD is only accurate if these symptoms continue after this time frame.

If you see signs of disturbance in your loved ones, friends or neighbors, who just returned from Haiiti, you might want to pay extra attention and encourage them to seek professional help if the symptoms do not subside after 3 months.

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Montreal Psychologist: Decision Making Series # 3

Decision Making Process: Step-By-Step

Being indecisive is one of the disturbing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which often leaves individuals feeling trapped and stuck in their life. But it does not have to be this way. You can minimize your anxiety of making decisions by following certain strategies as explained below.

1. Define your objectives

This is the first and very important step in the process of decision-making. When we are faced to make a decision, it is important to highlight what is it that we want to achieve or to avoid. If your objectives in the process of decision-making is not clear, you are like a pilot without a destination or plan, not knowing where you are heading.

2. Define your options

What are your options? How many choices do you have? We always a have a choice even if it does not seem like it at first. For instance, a woman with 3 young children is considering leaving her abusive husband. She believes that with 3 children and no job she has no choice than to sacrifice her life and stay with her husband. What she is not realizing is that she has other choices but she chooses the most familiar, convenient and less threatening one: no change! She could for instance decide to leave and go on welfare, or get a part-time job, or ask a family member for help with the children etc. These choices might not be perfect but, nonetheless they exist and it is important to realize that.

3. Cost-Benefit Analysis

Make a list of pros and cons for each option. Do not make this in your head, as we tend to forget. In addition, writing and putting things on paper make it more objective and as such you are more likely to recognize realistic or unrealistic ideas.

4. Choose the best option

Be aware that there are no perfect solutions. In every decision-making you are giving up something for the gain of something else. Thus, if you are afraid that you might lose something or are not willing to give up something you are not being realistic. However, going through step 3 helps you weigh out the advantages and disadvantages of each option. Pick the one that brings you closer to your objectives (step 1). You might even realize that combining options might be another way to optimize your decision.

5. Take action

After going through the first 4 steps, you are ready to put your decision in action. This is the step that means you are wiling to own your decision and ready to face the potential consequences. You have to accept that we do not have control over everything and as such we have to accept certain levels of uncertainty and have confidence that we will deal with them as they come up.

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Decision Making Series # 2

Complex Decisions Any type of decision that results in major life changes such as changing or quitting your job, leaving your partner, choosing a program to study etc are considered complex decisions. Making complex decisions can be overwhelming, and as a result you might feel paralyzed and sometimes anxiety and depression may follow. Thus, it is important to follow a logical and systematic decision-making process. This process helps you address the critical elements that result in a good decision but not in a perfect decision. You have to accept that there is no perfect decision, as every decision not only involves gain but also loss. So do not look for "the perfect" decision but try to find the best ones considering your options. By taking an organized approach, you're less likely to miss important factors, and you can build on the approach to improve your decisions. In a complex decision making process we have to consider issues such as uncertainty, alternative choices, and potential high-risk consequences. Thus, making effective decisions are about going through a process. It is not a one-answer game but a complex system of different steps. Consider the following steps in the process of making an effective decision: 1. Define your objectives. 2. Define your options. 3. Do a cost-Benefit Analysis for each option. 4. Choose the best option. 5. Take action. For an elaboration on each step follow the upcoming issues of the decision making series.

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Decision Making Series # 1

Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

It is not uncommon that we feel overwhelmed, depression, anxiety, and even paralyzed when we have to make decisions. For some people even making a choice from a menu in a restaurant is difficult. This is usually because we fear the consequences, we do not want to own our decisions and we fear loss. We make decisions every day. Some decisions are relatively straightforward and simple: What should I eat for lunch? What should I wear to this party? These types of decisions are simple decisions and the consequences of simple decisions are not life changing or threatening. On the other hand, there are quite complex decisions that we have to make and the purpose is to improve quality of life: How can I change certain patterns such as stop drinking? Should I stay in my relationship? These are complicated decisions. You will have to consider various dimensions of the options and the potential consequences for you and others involved. For instance, how would my life be without my current partner? Will there be financial consequences? How will it impact my children, parents, partner etc? Simple decisions usually need a simple decision-making process; whereas, difficult decisions typically involve processes that are interrelated. It helps to look at reality as it is and accept that when we make a decision, any type of decision, we are giving up something in order to gain something else. If I choose to have sushi for supper, I gave up the idea of having pizza. If I choose to leave my partner, I understand that I am giving up some level of comfort that came with being with my partner; however, I will be gaining something else such as gaining independence etc. It is simple: if you fear loss, you cannot gain and will be stuck in your life. And note that by

doing so you ARE making a decision: choosing the fear.

Depression and Suicide Among Aboriginals

Discrimination is a disease of judgment and judgment is a product of close-mindedness. Minorities are being discriminated and sometimes even mistreated. Aboriginal Canadians are among theses minorities that in their own country are not understood nor always properly treated.

The rate of suicide is much higher among Aboriginal people in Canada. While in the past 2 decades, the overall rate of suicide in Canada has declined; it has continued to rise in some Aboriginal communities. Suicide occurs 5 to 6 times more among Aboriginal youth (10-29 years old).

The high rate of suicide among Aboriginal Canadians is one of the reflections of distress in communities. Suicide leaves many more people suffering from depression, anxiety, despair, and may be even prompting people to consider suicide in response to the loss of their loved ones. Given that many people are related and share similar personal and collective history, the impact of suicide is especially pervasive and brutal.

In addition to the common risk factors for suicide such as depression, hopelessness, substance abuse, and family violence, Aboriginals face other risk factors that are clearly related to social forces such as acculturation stress and marginalization. Difficulties to integrate the cultural values of the larger society within the existing Aboriginal values have been repeatedly described as risk factors for Aboriginal suicide, even in the absence of depression. It is noteworthy that the difficulties adapting these conflictual values do not reflect individual differences, but rather social and political forces such as governmental policies of forced assimilation.

For instance, not only the residential school system disrupted the healthy transmission of culture among Cree people, but also affected them at individual, family, community, and intergenerational level. Religious forces are other example of forced assimilation, which continue even to this date, for instance among Cree. It is equally heartbreaking and upsetting to see that Aboriginals are forced to perform many of their traditional ceremonies secretly, as these traditions are labeled by church as “evil”.

Democracy is about freedom and equality. It is absolutely important to see more ope-minded society, in which freely these kind of traditional ceremonies and other cultural expressions can be performed.

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Stress Management Skills, Series #5

To read the beginning of this article please view previous series.

How to manage stress

Do not assume! Delegate tasks!

Very often our stress is related to the fact that we carry too many responsibilities. Often we believe that others expect from us to be perfect and to do everything. Ask yourself this question: Did anyone ask me to do so much or is it really me having all that expectations and assuming that if I did not fulfill them others would be disappointed in me? Most often we find that it is really we having all these unrealistic expectations of ourselves being a superman or a superwoman. Stop! Do not assume! Ask the question and make a list of your responsibilities and delegate some of them to others such as family members, employees, and coworkers.

Relaxation techniques

Learn how to relax. Relaxation techniques such as deep and slow breathing and progressive muscle relaxation trigger the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest” mood) and as such help shut off the sympathetic nervous system, also called the “arousal mood”. In other words, physiologically, you cannot be in stress and heightened arousal mood and be breathing slowly and deeply at the same time!

Try the relaxation techniques for 5-10 minutes, 2 or 3 times throughout the day if you are having difficulties keeping your calm going through your day. Or take 20-30 min at bedtime if you have difficulties shutting off your mind and falling asleep.

Live a balanced life

Balance is a key element in native culture. We are complex beings consisting of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual components. Find your spirituality weather it is religion, or nature or just being alone by yourself; whatever that gives you the inner peace. If you don’t know it, then explore and find it for yourself.

Don’t complain about life and remember everything happens for a reason. Without black we would not appreciate the white, without pain we would not appreciate the happiness.

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Stress Management Skills, Series #4

To read the beginning of this article, please view the series # 1-3. How to manage stress Be diligent with your routine and self-care behaviors During crisis and stress the first thing that suffers is the loss of our routine such as regular bedtime, eating, walking, and exercising. These aspects of our life get neglected because we switch to acute crisis and emergency mood. It is understandable that when you are in an emergency situation you need to react and not waste any time by doing other things. As such, our body and mind continues to be in crisis mood even in a chronic stress situation. So remind yourself, that you are not in any emergency; your stress is chronic and as such your need for healthy routine such as eating well, going for a walk and exercise is even more crucial. Increase pleasure When overwhelmed and under stress, we forget that there is such a thing as pleasure. We don’t go out and socialize as often as we used to. We often believe that stress management means to reduce stressors. However, sometimes, we cannot change certain situations and we have to accept them as they are and as such increasing pleasure is a good strategy to cope with difficult situations as a means to recharge your batteries. “Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.” Margaret Fuller Talk to someone It is important to understand that there is no shame in feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes talking to a friend and/or a professional will help to put thing in perspective, feel normal and understood, which in turn helps us see solutions and strategies that we might have been overlooking. However, do not just rely on your friend or psychologist. The key is to learn and rely on yourself! info@drbita.com