Decision Making Series # 1

Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

It is not uncommon that we feel overwhelmed, depression, anxiety, and even paralyzed when we have to make decisions. For some people even making a choice from a menu in a restaurant is difficult. This is usually because we fear the consequences, we do not want to own our decisions and we fear loss. We make decisions every day. Some decisions are relatively straightforward and simple: What should I eat for lunch? What should I wear to this party? These types of decisions are simple decisions and the consequences of simple decisions are not life changing or threatening. On the other hand, there are quite complex decisions that we have to make and the purpose is to improve quality of life: How can I change certain patterns such as stop drinking? Should I stay in my relationship? These are complicated decisions. You will have to consider various dimensions of the options and the potential consequences for you and others involved. For instance, how would my life be without my current partner? Will there be financial consequences? How will it impact my children, parents, partner etc? Simple decisions usually need a simple decision-making process; whereas, difficult decisions typically involve processes that are interrelated. It helps to look at reality as it is and accept that when we make a decision, any type of decision, we are giving up something in order to gain something else. If I choose to have sushi for supper, I gave up the idea of having pizza. If I choose to leave my partner, I understand that I am giving up some level of comfort that came with being with my partner; however, I will be gaining something else such as gaining independence etc. It is simple: if you fear loss, you cannot gain and will be stuck in your life. And note that by

doing so you ARE making a decision: choosing the fear.