Decision Making Series # 1

Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

It is not uncommon that we feel overwhelmed, depression, anxiety, and even paralyzed when we have to make decisions. For some people even making a choice from a menu in a restaurant is difficult. This is usually because we fear the consequences, we do not want to own our decisions and we fear loss. We make decisions every day. Some decisions are relatively straightforward and simple: What should I eat for lunch? What should I wear to this party? These types of decisions are simple decisions and the consequences of simple decisions are not life changing or threatening. On the other hand, there are quite complex decisions that we have to make and the purpose is to improve quality of life: How can I change certain patterns such as stop drinking? Should I stay in my relationship? These are complicated decisions. You will have to consider various dimensions of the options and the potential consequences for you and others involved. For instance, how would my life be without my current partner? Will there be financial consequences? How will it impact my children, parents, partner etc? Simple decisions usually need a simple decision-making process; whereas, difficult decisions typically involve processes that are interrelated. It helps to look at reality as it is and accept that when we make a decision, any type of decision, we are giving up something in order to gain something else. If I choose to have sushi for supper, I gave up the idea of having pizza. If I choose to leave my partner, I understand that I am giving up some level of comfort that came with being with my partner; however, I will be gaining something else such as gaining independence etc. It is simple: if you fear loss, you cannot gain and will be stuck in your life. And note that by

doing so you ARE making a decision: choosing the fear.

Depression and Suicide Among Aboriginals

Discrimination is a disease of judgment and judgment is a product of close-mindedness. Minorities are being discriminated and sometimes even mistreated. Aboriginal Canadians are among theses minorities that in their own country are not understood nor always properly treated.

The rate of suicide is much higher among Aboriginal people in Canada. While in the past 2 decades, the overall rate of suicide in Canada has declined; it has continued to rise in some Aboriginal communities. Suicide occurs 5 to 6 times more among Aboriginal youth (10-29 years old).

The high rate of suicide among Aboriginal Canadians is one of the reflections of distress in communities. Suicide leaves many more people suffering from depression, anxiety, despair, and may be even prompting people to consider suicide in response to the loss of their loved ones. Given that many people are related and share similar personal and collective history, the impact of suicide is especially pervasive and brutal.

In addition to the common risk factors for suicide such as depression, hopelessness, substance abuse, and family violence, Aboriginals face other risk factors that are clearly related to social forces such as acculturation stress and marginalization. Difficulties to integrate the cultural values of the larger society within the existing Aboriginal values have been repeatedly described as risk factors for Aboriginal suicide, even in the absence of depression. It is noteworthy that the difficulties adapting these conflictual values do not reflect individual differences, but rather social and political forces such as governmental policies of forced assimilation.

For instance, not only the residential school system disrupted the healthy transmission of culture among Cree people, but also affected them at individual, family, community, and intergenerational level. Religious forces are other example of forced assimilation, which continue even to this date, for instance among Cree. It is equally heartbreaking and upsetting to see that Aboriginals are forced to perform many of their traditional ceremonies secretly, as these traditions are labeled by church as “evil”.

Democracy is about freedom and equality. It is absolutely important to see more ope-minded society, in which freely these kind of traditional ceremonies and other cultural expressions can be performed.

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Stress Management Skills, Series #5

To read the beginning of this article please view previous series.

How to manage stress

Do not assume! Delegate tasks!

Very often our stress is related to the fact that we carry too many responsibilities. Often we believe that others expect from us to be perfect and to do everything. Ask yourself this question: Did anyone ask me to do so much or is it really me having all that expectations and assuming that if I did not fulfill them others would be disappointed in me? Most often we find that it is really we having all these unrealistic expectations of ourselves being a superman or a superwoman. Stop! Do not assume! Ask the question and make a list of your responsibilities and delegate some of them to others such as family members, employees, and coworkers.

Relaxation techniques

Learn how to relax. Relaxation techniques such as deep and slow breathing and progressive muscle relaxation trigger the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest” mood) and as such help shut off the sympathetic nervous system, also called the “arousal mood”. In other words, physiologically, you cannot be in stress and heightened arousal mood and be breathing slowly and deeply at the same time!

Try the relaxation techniques for 5-10 minutes, 2 or 3 times throughout the day if you are having difficulties keeping your calm going through your day. Or take 20-30 min at bedtime if you have difficulties shutting off your mind and falling asleep.

Live a balanced life

Balance is a key element in native culture. We are complex beings consisting of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual components. Find your spirituality weather it is religion, or nature or just being alone by yourself; whatever that gives you the inner peace. If you don’t know it, then explore and find it for yourself.

Don’t complain about life and remember everything happens for a reason. Without black we would not appreciate the white, without pain we would not appreciate the happiness.

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Stress Management Skills, Series #4

To read the beginning of this article, please view the series # 1-3. How to manage stress Be diligent with your routine and self-care behaviors During crisis and stress the first thing that suffers is the loss of our routine such as regular bedtime, eating, walking, and exercising. These aspects of our life get neglected because we switch to acute crisis and emergency mood. It is understandable that when you are in an emergency situation you need to react and not waste any time by doing other things. As such, our body and mind continues to be in crisis mood even in a chronic stress situation. So remind yourself, that you are not in any emergency; your stress is chronic and as such your need for healthy routine such as eating well, going for a walk and exercise is even more crucial. Increase pleasure When overwhelmed and under stress, we forget that there is such a thing as pleasure. We don’t go out and socialize as often as we used to. We often believe that stress management means to reduce stressors. However, sometimes, we cannot change certain situations and we have to accept them as they are and as such increasing pleasure is a good strategy to cope with difficult situations as a means to recharge your batteries. “Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.” Margaret Fuller Talk to someone It is important to understand that there is no shame in feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes talking to a friend and/or a professional will help to put thing in perspective, feel normal and understood, which in turn helps us see solutions and strategies that we might have been overlooking. However, do not just rely on your friend or psychologist. The key is to learn and rely on yourself! info@drbita.com