Stress Management Skills, Series #3

To read the beginning of this article please view series # 1. How to manage stress There are various skills to mange stress and each of these skills can be more effective than the others depending on your needs and circumstances. And as the old saying goes” don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, often a combination of these skills produce better results. Change your perception It often helps to take a new perspective in viewing our life, our problems and circumstances. Often we have an unrealistic expectation that life should be smooth and without problems. Aboriginal people believe that life means problems, and as such problems and difficulties are expected and accepted as part of life. That means that we can perceive our problems as “problem” and feel overwhelmed or perceive them as challenges and feel motivated to overcome them. The benefit with the latter view is that we shift from a problem-oriented view to a solution-oriented one, and naturally feeling encouraged searching for solutions. “Maturity is achieved when a person accepts life as full of tension.” Joshua L. Liebman Understand and identify the stressor Very often our feelings signal us that we are facing a problem without exactly knowing what the problem is, and as such feeling more confused and overwhelmed. In order to be solution-oriented, we first need to identify the problem. Do not ignore your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, and experiencing insomnia. Even though you might not be directly aware of the source of the problem, your mental and physical state do communicate with you. Try to understand the language and do not just accept them as a “normal-for-me-state”. info@drbita.com

Christmas Depression

Christmas is a time of celebration, giving and receiving; is about family, loving and being loved. However, it seems that Christmas is losing its true meaning and is becoming more and more commercial and more about “fulfilling our duty”: buying gifts, even if it means borrowing money from the bank and paying high interests on the credit cards. The reports show high rates of depression, suicide, anxiety, and stress during the holidays and many people report that they cannot really enjoy the holidays and “get into the spirit of the holidays”. In addition to the financial pressures, a multitude of things, such as loss of a loved one, failures, and loneliness can trigger Christmas-depression. People affected by one or more of these difficulties are more prone to developing depression during the holidays, especially when they cannot share the joyousness of everyone else. So it is not surprising that reaching out feels more awkward and more remote for them. Unfortunately, we have forgotten that we can be happy together without buying expensive gifts. How often do we hear ourselves say “ he does not need really anything so I don’t know what to buy?” Buying is feeling good and making somebody feel good. It is true that alone in Canada yearly $2 billion wasted gifts are made. In a world that there are young children and families that cannot have their very basic needs met; such as having a warm meal on the table, kids who do not have a toy or proper warm clothing, isn’t it questionable to buy something for someone when they don’t even need it? Instead of buying gifts that are not needed, why not get together and donate to the ones in need? Or how about becoming family to the lonely ones? Many people feel more depressed during the holidays just because they are lonely, or because they do not have supportive family. So let’s truly celebrate holidays and let’s give the gift of heart: GIVE LOVE. info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #2

To read the beginning of this article please view series # 1. What is stress? Wikipedia defines stress as “a biological term for the consequences of the failure of a human or animal to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined. It includes a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism, and exhaustion. Common stress symptoms include irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate and a variety of physical reactions, such as headaches and elevated heart rate.” Stress can be in response to positive or negative events. For instance getting married and preparing for the wedding or buying a home can be stressful but they are considered as positive stressors. Nonetheless, a person going through theses type of experiences may feel overwhelmed, irritable and not in control. Stress can also be negative. For instance going through divorce, facing court-related issues, and financial difficulties are considered negative stressors because they involve feelings such as guilt, shame, fear, worries, and anxiety. However, often we may feel overwhelmed and stressed out just going through day-to-day responsibilities. This means that our threshold to cope might have decreased due to various factors related to our past such as, suppressed feelings, and unresolved conflicts. info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #1

We are living in a fast speeding society, which increases the competitiveness and pressure. Burn out, anxiety and feeling stressed are increasing and impairing the relationships and mental, social, and academic functioning. So I decided to write about stress.

• How do you manage stress? How do you cope with it?

• Do you feel overwhelmed?

• Do you feel like you cannot handle it anymore?

• Do you resort to eating as a means to cope? Does it work?

• Or maybe you stop eating because you lose your appetite?

• Do you try to give yourself a break by drinking alcohol? Does it make the problems disappear?

• Do you become irritable, short tempered, and even aggressive (verbally or physically)?

• Or you rather sleep off your stress and just want to be in bed?

• Do you stop your healthy routine such as exercise, good eating habit, and relaxation and just focus on the problem on hand?

If you say yes to one or more of the above listed coping strategies, you are not alone. Many people cope with stress by eating, drinking alcohol, or distracting themselves in other ways. The problem is that all these coping skills may help for a brief moment but in general they are maladaptive behaviors that usually, in long term, magnify and worsen the problem. Let’s start by looking at what stress is. Why do we have such negative perception about stress? Why are we running away from it? To read more on this subject follow Dr. Bita’s series on Stress Management. info@drbita.com