Dr. Bita, Montreal Psychologist

MONTREAL ANGER MANAGEMENT GROUP

2012-03-04T23:24:00.003-05:00

Montreal Anger Management Group:

Is your ANGER controlling you?

Do you get easily irritated?

Is your relationship suffering because of your explosive outbursts?

Is your ANGER causing problems at work?

If so, then the Anger Management Groups can help you better manage and control your ANGER before it controls YOU!

How You Will Benefit:

Learn what is anger

Recognize how anger impacts your overall well-being; mind and body

Differentiate between Aggression and Assertion

Replace Aggression with Assertion

Identify anger provoking thought patterns

Gain control of your feelings

Learn how to express your feelings

Identify anger pay-offs

Learn relaxation techniques

Early Bird Registration Discount if you register by April 02, 2012

To Register or to obtain more information please contact info@drbita.com or call us at 514-999-2482

http://www.clinicdrbita.com/anger.html

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Keys to Success

2012-03-01T12:14:00.005-05:00

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Keys to Success There are different types of people with different levels of ambitions. Scientists separate them as the laborers, the educated workers, and the overachievers. What makes one an overachiever? What separates the best from the rest? Is there a formula to success? Geneticists and psychologist began to research the phenomena, and determined many factors, by examining these three types of people. Scientists understood that the mentality of a person is directly related to his rate of success. The mentality of a person is also related to his upbringing, which means that a person's childhood is crucial to develop the characteristics of an overachiever. In further detail, here are some key factors that increases the rate of success: • There is a time when a child realizes that if he wants something, he is going to have to go get it. That's the moment where he should be thinking of what he wants to do with his life, and how to get there. It is wise to plan one's life, while enjoying the present. Moreover, the earlier a person knows what he wants to do with his life, the earlier he can plan accordingly, in order to maximize his chances. • An overachiever is ambitious. If a person never dreams big, he'll never live big. • Success requires discipline. This means resisting to negative temptations, and rewarding every little achievement. • Perseverance is crucial to success: "Life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. No matter how hard or how many hits you take, you get back up." - Sylvester Stallone. • Strategy and tactics: There should be a strategy for every thing, and a series of tactics that compliment that strategy. More precisely, a person should know who he is speaking to, what he is saying to that person, the timing of what he is saying, where he is saying it, and how he should speak. • Elasticity and opportunity: A person should be able to modify short term plans in order to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. Failure to do so will result in regret, and possible depression. • Most importantly, no pain, no gain. To conclude, by examining successful people, it is noticeable that they already possess most of the qualities mentioned above, consciously or unconsciously. info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Moms with Depression

2011-08-04T20:34:00.000-04:00

Moms with Depression

Have you ever wondered how mother’s (or primary care giver’s) mental health can affect children’s development? Studies show that children of depressed mothers are more likely then other children to develop behavioral problems as they get older. The potential explanation could be that a mom with depression is not able to provide the stimulation that the child needs and is less likely to engage in social activities with her child. A more recent study followed 438 Australian mothers and their children from infancy until the age of 5 years old. Their findings indeed support that at risk children (i.e.; children of mothers with depression) were 4 times as likely to develop depression, anxiety, withdrawn behavior and aggression. They also found that spending half a day in daycare significantly reduced the risk of these behavioral and psychological problems. Apparently, when children are away for at least a few hours per day, every body gets a break. The mom with depression gets a break and can be more receptive towards her child after its return from daycare, the child gets a break from mom’s depressive symptoms and gets a chance for social stimulation and interaction with peers. So moms, do not feel guilty in feeling the need for a break. A break is healthy not only for you but also for your developing children. Take the time to pamper yourself and recharge your batteries, while babies are not around. Motherhood is not easy but it can be a joyful and pleasant experience if you have the energy.

info@drbita.com

www.clinicdrbita.com

Westmount psychologist: Insomnia and stress

2011-07-04T15:28:00.005-04:00

Insomnia and Stress

Insomnia, difficulty to fall asleep and/or sleeping through is a very common problem in adulthood. With increased stress and responsibilities it seems that many of us have difficulties to shut off our brain and as such sleep disturbance, irritability, fatigue and diminished concentration become a daily struggle.

Interestingly, a recent study found that taking a nap on a slowly swinging / rocking bed helps shorten the time needed to fall asleep. More importantly, rocking seems to also improve the quality of sleep and encouraging a deeper sleep.

Given that we usually rock and cradle our babies to sleep, it is not that surprising that rocking would have the same effect for adults. Thus, taking the time to get on a gently rocking hammock might be indeed a good stress relief and recovery time for your insomniac brain. You can read more about the study on June 21 issue of Current Biology.

Info@drbita.com

Montreal Psychologist: Teenage Depression and Anxiety

2011-05-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

Teenage Depression and Anxiety: The impact of parenting

According to a recent research by the University of Glasgow and the Medical Research Council (May 2011), children's perception of how they are parented is a major predictor of their future mental health. Researchers reported that among 11 year-old children that felt both neglected and controlled by their parents when tested again at age 15, they were much more likely to have developed psychiatric problems, which included anxiety disorders such as obsessive compulsive disorder(OCD), depression, and behavioral disorders. In addition, conduct disorders such as antisocial and violent behavior and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) were also much more prominent among this group. Obviously, parenting is not the only contributing factor to teenage mental health issues. Nonetheless, parenting is a big and important job, which unfortunately, does not require prior training or certification. However, taking parenting classes shows to be extremely helpful for young parents and also for parents of teenagers. It is inspiring to see that more and more parents are taking advantage of these learning opportunities to ensure a healthier future for their children. These classes are offered by various psychologists in Montreal and could be found either online or just contact them directly to find out if they offer these services. For more information contact Clinique Dr. Bita at info@drbita.com or call 514-999-2482

2011-04-22T10:53:00.002-04:00

Dr. Bita, Psychologist, Director

Emotional Focused Therapy (E.F.T.)

"In essence, E.F.T. helps individuals understand their emotional experience(s) so that they can move forward and feel more integrated. The process of Focusing is used so that clients can just be with their internal experience in order to use it for information. For instance, the ability to fully experience sadness helps one to grieve important losses. It can also help someone create boundaries after having been hurt/taken advantage of, etc. The experience of fear, anger and self-criticalness are also often worked with in order to help clients feel happy with life and less stuck, in general.", explains Dr. Rick Parker, a Westmount Psychologist at Clinique Dr. Bita.

To know more about E.F.T. or to work with a Montreal psychologist specializing in E.F.T., you can contact Clinique Dr. Bita at 514- 508-1422 or email info@drbita.com

Clinique Dr. Bita

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST

2011-04-08T07:30:00.002-04:00

HOW TO FIND THE TOP 10 MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST?

When choosing a psychologist, first you want to know about their credentials, academic and clinical background, and their expertise in relation to your presenting problem.This information is usually found in their websites, since, luckily, we are living in a world with virtual features and most of professionals do have a website. Once making a selection based on their credential, the next important factor is the relationship with the psychologist once you have started the sessions. Ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable with him/her? Do I feel understood? Do I feel that my psychologist is confident / competent? It is also important to discuss theses concerns with your psychologist and give yourself sufficient time to decide whether or not you are comfortable with him/her, as it is not uncommon for us to have a different impression than our first one when encountering new people in our life.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL / WESTMOUNT PSYCHOLOGIST

2011-03-20T00:19:00.001-04:00

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: How to choose a psychologist

At some times in our lives, each of us may feel overwhelmed and may need help dealing with our feelings and problems that seem outside of our control. Some of the most common problems that we may face are marriage or relationship difficulties, stress at work or losing a job, the death of a loved one, anxiety, depression, stress, burnout, substance abuse, eating disorders (binge eating, anorexia...), lack of confidence and low self-esteem, PTSD (traumatic experiences), and sexual difficulties, among many others. Sometimes we need help from a trained, licensed professional in order to work through these problems. The trick is to identify the need to seek help and act upon it before the problem(s) become too overwhelming and way out of our control. Asking for help is NOT a weakness but rather a sign of strength and courage. The good news is that we have many trained and licensed psychologists in Montreal with various specialties. A follow up blog will specify the points to consider when choosing a psychologist.

Info@drbita.com

MONTREAL / WESTMOUNT PSYCHOLOGIST

2011-03-12T08:35:00.003-05:00

Montreal Psychologist: Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety Facts that can solve or reduce performance anxiety in men: Many men with erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety are concerned about their penis size and and the inability to sexually satisfy their partners. Men may be surprised to know that while they are concerned about their “size”, their partners actually think that they are just fine. A 2006 study showed that while only 55% of men reported being satisfied with their penis size, 85% of women reported satisfaction with their partner’s “size”. This is due to the fact that most sensitive parts of a woman are on the outside of her body and the first 3-4 inches of her vagina. The average erect penis is over 5 inches and thus additional length may not influence female sexual satisfaction; however, it matters when it comes to the condom size! Info@drbita.com

MONTREAL / WESTMOUNT PSYCHOLOGIST

2011-02-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #4

In order to become confident you have to be able to see yourself as a confident person and behave like one. Look at a confident person of your choice and see how he/she walks, dresses, behaves, talks etc. Practice the moves. The way you carry your body will change how you feel about yourself. What you wear will impact how you feel about yourself and how you behave. You are more likely to feel cozy and relaxed in your pajama and more goal-oriented in your business suit. So dress appropriately, correct your posture, build confidence. And...say bye to depression and anxiety.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST

2011-01-25T16:32:00.001-05:00

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #3 Do not be afraid of making mistakes and admitting your mistakes. Instead, recognize and learn from them. The process of acknowledging and learning from our mistakes is a humbling and confidence building experience. It allows you to be fully aware of who you are, what your skills are and which one you need to build or strengthen. Reinvent yourself, build confidence and put an end to depression and anxiety.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST

2010-12-28T10:12:00.000-05:00

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #2

Confidence is a skill that can be developed and strengthen by your accomplishments and achievements, as long as they are acknowledged by yourself. Recognize and acknowledge your smallest accomplishment, while expanding your skills into other areas, only then you develop and practice confidence. By anchoring all your positive experiences and accomplishments you take a step away from depressive, pessimistic, and anxiety provoking thoughts. Welcome confidence and say bye to depression and anxiety.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGY

2010-12-21T08:10:00.001-05:00

Depression, Anxiety and Confidence #1

Depression is feeling sad, helpless, and hopeless. Anxiety is being terrified of the unknown. Lack of self-confidence is a common factor in both conditions. You cannot feel confident AND helpless at the same time. You cannot feel confident that no matter what happens you will be able to deal with future problems AND be anxious at the same time. If you consider yourself or a loved one to be depressed and/or anxious you can help yourself (or your loved one) by increasing your self-confidence. How? More blogs on confidence to follow...

or contact Dr. Bita at info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: OCD and Self-Confidence

2010-12-07T11:55:00.003-05:00

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has several subtypes such as checking type, contamination type, and symmetry, which are all about checking, decontaminating, and creating order. An individual with OCD needs to check and recheck to reassure himself of safety, order, cleanness etc. and still does not feel reassured that he did lock the door or that his hands are clean or that an asymmetrical book shelf is not related to bad things happening. And so OCD becomes a disease of “doubts”. It increases self-doubt and decreases self-confidence. Strengthening self-confidence by increasing your knowledge (especially about the obsessions) and becoming increasingly fact-oriented are effective ways to overcome self-doubts and eventually the OCD.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: OCD

2010-12-01T16:43:00.003-05:00

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by intrusive repetitive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive , ritualistic behaviors (compulsions). Compulsive behaviors serve to neutralize the (uncontrollable) obsessions and as such decrease the anxiety that is the byproduct of the obsessions. However, it is important to note that the anxiety relief following a compulsive behavior is short term and it actually strengthens the anxiety provoking obsessive thoughts. In other words, obsessive thoughts evoke anxiety, compulsive rituals are practiced to decrease the anxiety immediately, which in turn reinforce the obsessive thoughts and as such increase the anxiety in long term.

To treat your OCD, it is crucial not to respond to your obsessions and recognize that your obsessive thoughts are NOT realistic. It might help you to think of your OCD as “the monster” and of obsessive thoughts as “the monster talking”. More you listen to “the monster”, more you strengthen its powers. The best way to beat “the monster” is to ignore it. Only then you start teaching yourself that you do NOT have to engage in any compulsive behaviors in order to feel safe and calm.

info@drbita.com

DR. BITA, MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Burnout & Depression

2010-10-10T15:16:00.006-04:00

The prevalence of burnout with accompanied depression and anxiety has been increasing and more and more employees are affected, and as such the frequency of sick leave among employees has been augmenting.

ms. Thus, it is understandable that a person affected by burnout might be feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, hopeless, helpless and might also be questioning many things in her life. Usually, taking a break from day-to-day responsibilities and stressors as well as increasing social interactions and pleasurable activities can help the individual recharge her/his "b

atteries", become energized, and as such allowing a faster return to work. Given the importance of increasing pleasure to break the depressive cycle, it is crucial for insurance companies to understand this concept and not penalize their recipient-employees for having fun while they are supposed to be "sick".

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL / WESTMOUNT PSYCHOLOGIST

2010-10-10T15:09:00.004-04:00

Montreal Psychologist: Burnout and Depression

Burnout is a serious health problem that can be triggered by a combination of work-related and personal stressors such as acute and chronic stress, extreme demanding work environment, tense relationships between employees and employer and managers, income that is proportionally less then job's demands, low self-confidence and other personal problems. Thus, it is understandable that a person affected by burnout might be feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, hopeless, helpless and might also be questioning many things in her life. Usually, taking a break from day-to-day responsibilities and stressors as well as increasing social interactions and pleasurable activities can help the individual recharge her/his "batteries", become energized, and as such allowing a faster return to work. Given the importance of increasing pleasure to break the depressive cycle, it is crucial for insurance companies to understand this concept and not penalize their recipient-employees for having fun while they are supposed to be "sick".

DR BITA, WEST ISLAND PPSYCHOLOGIST: Anxiety

2010-08-08T22:03:00.001-04:00

In the recent years, the prevalence of anxiety and anxiety disorders has been increasing. This is not surprising given the fast forwarding society and the growing competition among employees and professionals. We are living in an individualistic society, in which you can ONLY depend on yourself and if you are not fast enough you might fall behind and fail to survive.

Living in such environment is anxiety provoking, as you feel that you constantly have to live in future, predicting and preventing potential future problems. It works for many people, as it creates an illusion of control. But it lasts only for a short time, as our lives are changing and with every change we need to foresee other sets of potential problems. The result: We are living to survive! How long does this go on? Forever. Because life means change. Life means problems and facing challenges.

The good news is that it does not need to be this way. With a touch of an artistic talent to balance your life, you would be able to learn when to use your survival instinct and when to enjoy the moment and live in here-and-now. While you plan for the future, you need to accept that you cannot control everything. While it is important to be in control, it is also necessary to relinquish control. Everything is good in moderation. The key word is BALANCE!

info@drbita.com

DR. BITA, MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: Male Sexual Arousal Disorder

2010-04-24T09:26:00.002-04:00

Male Sexual Arousal Disorder

Performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction (difficulty obtaining and/or maintaining erection), premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation are different types of male arousal disorder. Usually, the main source of all these difficulties is psychological; however, it is important to rule out physical sources.

Society has been kind of unfair to men by placing unrealistic norms and expectations on men in regards to their sexual performance. In many cultures male sexuality and virility is a sign of “manhood”. Pleasing the female sexual partner at every sexual interaction and being able to maintain your erection just long enough that is suiting your sexual partner is expected. In other words, society and cultures have fed us with many myths and misconceptions in regards to male sexuality and their “sexual performance”. As a result, many young men are affected by theses sexual pressures placed on them by the social norms and even though many of these norms have changed many young men continue to hold onto them and believing they must be certain way in regards to sexual performance.

It is important to erase all these expectations placed on men and give sex and sexuality a new look. Sex is about pleasure, has no norms and boundaries as long as both partners consent to the act. Women and men both carry the same level of responsibility in initiating sex and pleasing each other. Sexual act is not a performance but an act, during which both partners have the same goal: pleasure and reproduction for some couples.

That being said, there is no shame in not being able to maintain or obtain erection, in having premature or delayed ejaculation. It is important to identify the source(s) of the problem and remove all the sexual fears and replace them with positive sexual thoughts and phantasies. Remember that stress, fatigue, and long working hours are common sources of sexual problems. Often seeing a psychologist can help you identify the source of the problem and offer coping skills such as stress management and cognitive restructuring (modifying your negative thought patterns).

info@drbita.com

DR. BITA, WEST ISLAND PSYCHOLOGIST: ANGER MANAGEMENT

2010-03-23T07:26:00.001-04:00

Anger is regarded as a destructive feelings and is highly avoided or frowned upon by society. It is important to note that actually, anger is a healthy feeling and is very much needed for the survival. Anger provides us with the energy we need to fight, to stand up for our rights and to get things done. The goal for anger management is not not to become angry but it is rather important to understand the reasons of your anger and learn what to do with the anger. In other words, anger is not a bad feeling but what we do with it can be unhealthy and maladaptive. Anger management will help you learn how to challenge the intense energy followed by the feeling of anger into something positive and constructive.

info@drbita.com

WEST ISLAND PSYCHOLOGIST: Sexual Desire Disorder

2010-03-17T08:10:00.004-04:00

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is defined by a low or absence of sexual desire for sexual activity. This is considered a disorder only if it causes distress for the individual and/or for the relationship. HSDD can be caused by different factors and as such identifying the roots of the problem is essential for the treatment.

Physical or mental illnesses, fatigue, pain, hormone deficiencies, stress, insomnia or inadequate amounts of sleep, pain during intercourse (for women), erection problems, premature or retarded Ejaculation (for men) could be counted among factors that negatively effect sexual desire.

Improving overall quality of life such as learning more adaptive stress management and communication skills, increasing physical activity, improving sleep and diet have shown to be linked with overall mental and physical well-being. Usually, referral to a psychologist for sex and couples therapy is the treatment of choice. Relationship enhancement and marital therapy, improving sexual relationship, and enhancing sexual repertoire have shown to be beneficial in treating HSADD.

If you or your partner are experiencing low sexual desire, talk with each other openly and discuss how you can improve your life style and eventually if you need to see a psychologist or a sex therapist.

If you have more questions, you can ask Dr. Bita at info@drbita.com.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

2010-03-03T08:36:00.003-05:00

Sexual dysfunctions are often the cause of marital or couples difficulties but are also sometimes triggered by couples problems. Couples would benefit to recognize that when a partner is experiencing any type of sexual dysfunction, the problem belongs to both of them and as such taking a team approach in treating the problem would not only enhance their relationships but also facilitate the treatment of sexual dysfunction. It is not uncommon to see that the partner directly affected by sexual dysfunction feels guilty, while the other partner feels frustrated, which adds to the guilt of his partner and the guilt further impacts the sexual problems and so increases the frustration of the partner. If you are affected by sexual dysfunction such as lack of sexual desire or sexual arousal, you do not need to feel guilty or embarrassed but rather try to understand the problem and invite your partner become your support in the journey of recovery. Talking about the problem openly and honestly, will remove the unnecessary pressure and the tension that usually builds up between the couples. In addition, often seeing a psychologist, who has experience in treating sexual dysfunction can help you overcome your problem. If you want to learn more about a specific sexual dysfunction and potential contributing factors, read more on the upcoming series on sexual dysfunction or ask Dr. Bita.

info@drbita.com

MONTREAL PSYCHOLOGIST: PTSD AND HAIITI

2010-02-28T20:47:00.004-05:00

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating mental disorder, which is experienced in response to a traumatic event such as near-death experience, being raped, violated etc. PTSD leaves the individual with a loss of sense of safety and security, feeling detached from self, recurrent nightmares, flashbacks, and hypervigilance (heightened alertness) among many other symptoms, and is accompanied by depression and anxiety.

PTSD affects the person’s level of functioning, its relationships and physical health.

In addition to the person being directly affected by the trauma, also people, who are helping could be affected. This condition is also called “vicarious trauma”. Given the recent tragedies in Haiiti, a lot of attention has been given to the victims from Haiiti and interventions have been in place to help. It is; however, important to recognize that first line workers such as the policemen, firemen, doctors, and volunteers from across the world could be experiencing “vicarious trauma”, and as

such be in need for proper medical and supportive attention. The symptoms of post trauma usually subside within 3 months, and as such a diagnosis of PTSD is only accurate if these symptoms continue after this time frame.

If you see signs of disturbance in your loved ones, friends or neighbors, who just returned from Haiiti, you might want to pay extra attention and encourage them to seek professional help if the symptoms do not subside after 3 months.

info@drbita.com

Montreal Psychologist: Decision Making Series # 3

2010-02-22T05:35:00.005-05:00

Decision Making Process: Step-By-Step

Being indecisive is one of the disturbing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which often leaves individuals feeling trapped and stuck in their life. But it does not have to be this way. You can minimize your anxiety of making decisions by following certain strategies as explained below.

1. Define your objectives

This is the first and very important step in the process of decision-making. When we are faced to make a decision, it is important to highlight what is it that we want to achieve or to avoid. If your objectives in the process of decision-making is not clear, you are like a pilot without a destination or plan, not knowing where you are heading.

2. Define your options

What are your options? How many choices do you have? We always a have a choice even if it does not seem like it at first. For instance, a woman with 3 young children is considering leaving her abusive husband. She believes that with 3 children and no job she has no choice than to sacrifice her life and stay with her husband. What she is not realizing is that she has other choices but she chooses the most familiar, convenient and less threatening one: no change! She could for instance decide to leave and go on welfare, or get a part-time job, or ask a family member for help with the children etc. These choices might not be perfect but, nonetheless they exist and it is important to realize that.

3. Cost-Benefit Analysis

Make a list of pros and cons for each option. Do not make this in your head, as we tend to forget. In addition, writing and putting things on paper make it more objective and as such you are more likely to recognize realistic or unrealistic ideas.

4. Choose the best option

Be aware that there are no perfect solutions. In every decision-making you are giving up something for the gain of something else. Thus, if you are afraid that you might lose something or are not willing to give up something you are not being realistic. However, going through step 3 helps you weigh out the advantages and disadvantages of each option. Pick the one that brings you closer to your objectives (step 1). You might even realize that combining options might be another way to optimize your decision.

5. Take action

After going through the first 4 steps, you are ready to put your decision in action. This is the step that means you are wiling to own your decision and ready to face the potential consequences. You have to accept that we do not have control over everything and as such we have to accept certain levels of uncertainty and have confidence that we will deal with them as they come up.

info@drbita.com

Decision Making Series # 2

2010-02-04T04:07:00.002-05:00

Complex Decisions Any type of decision that results in major life changes such as changing or quitting your job, leaving your partner, choosing a program to study etc are considered complex decisions. Making complex decisions can be overwhelming, and as a result you might feel paralyzed and sometimes anxiety and depression may follow. Thus, it is important to follow a logical and systematic decision-making process. This process helps you address the critical elements that result in a good decision but not in a perfect decision. You have to accept that there is no perfect decision, as every decision not only involves gain but also loss. So do not look for "the perfect" decision but try to find the best ones considering your options. By taking an organized approach, you're less likely to miss important factors, and you can build on the approach to improve your decisions. In a complex decision making process we have to consider issues such as uncertainty, alternative choices, and potential high-risk consequences. Thus, making effective decisions are about going through a process. It is not a one-answer game but a complex system of different steps. Consider the following steps in the process of making an effective decision: 1. Define your objectives. 2. Define your options. 3. Do a cost-Benefit Analysis for each option. 4. Choose the best option. 5. Take action. For an elaboration on each step follow the upcoming issues of the decision making series.

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Decision Making Series # 1

2010-01-28T13:01:00.003-05:00

Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

It is not uncommon that we feel overwhelmed, depression, anxiety, and even paralyzed when we have to make decisions. For some people even making a choice from a menu in a restaurant is difficult. This is usually because we fear the consequences, we do not want to own our decisions and we fear loss. We make decisions every day. Some decisions are relatively straightforward and simple: What should I eat for lunch? What should I wear to this party? These types of decisions are simple decisions and the consequences of simple decisions are not life changing or threatening. On the other hand, there are quite complex decisions that we have to make and the purpose is to improve quality of life: How can I change certain patterns such as stop drinking? Should I stay in my relationship? These are complicated decisions. You will have to consider various dimensions of the options and the potential consequences for you and others involved. For instance, how would my life be without my current partner? Will there be financial consequences? How will it impact my children, parents, partner etc? Simple decisions usually need a simple decision-making process; whereas, difficult decisions typically involve processes that are interrelated. It helps to look at reality as it is and accept that when we make a decision, any type of decision, we are giving up something in order to gain something else. If I choose to have sushi for supper, I gave up the idea of having pizza. If I choose to leave my partner, I understand that I am giving up some level of comfort that came with being with my partner; however, I will be gaining something else such as gaining independence etc. It is simple: if you fear loss, you cannot gain and will be stuck in your life. And note that by

doing so you ARE making a decision: choosing the fear.

Depression and Suicide Among Aboriginals

2010-01-17T17:42:00.012-05:00

Discrimination is a disease of judgment and judgment is a product of close-mindedness. Minorities are being discriminated and sometimes even mistreated. Aboriginal Canadians are among theses minorities that in their own country are not understood nor always properly treated.

The rate of suicide is much higher among Aboriginal people in Canada. While in the past 2 decades, the overall rate of suicide in Canada has declined; it has continued to rise in some Aboriginal communities. Suicide occurs 5 to 6 times more among Aboriginal youth (10-29 years old).

The high rate of suicide among Aboriginal Canadians is one of the reflections of distress in communities. Suicide leaves many more people suffering from depression, anxiety, despair, and may be even prompting people to consider suicide in response to the loss of their loved ones. Given that many people are related and share similar personal and collective history, the impact of suicide is especially pervasive and brutal.

In addition to the common risk factors for suicide such as depression, hopelessness, substance abuse, and family violence, Aboriginals face other risk factors that are clearly related to social forces such as acculturation stress and marginalization. Difficulties to integrate the cultural values of the larger society within the existing Aboriginal values have been repeatedly described as risk factors for Aboriginal suicide, even in the absence of depression. It is noteworthy that the difficulties adapting these conflictual values do not reflect individual differences, but rather social and political forces such as governmental policies of forced assimilation.

For instance, not only the residential school system disrupted the healthy transmission of culture among Cree people, but also affected them at individual, family, community, and intergenerational level. Religious forces are other example of forced assimilation, which continue even to this date, for instance among Cree. It is equally heartbreaking and upsetting to see that Aboriginals are forced to perform many of their traditional ceremonies secretly, as these traditions are labeled by church as “evil”.

Democracy is about freedom and equality. It is absolutely important to see more ope-minded society, in which freely these kind of traditional ceremonies and other cultural expressions can be performed.

info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #5

2010-01-11T06:56:00.001-05:00

To read the beginning of this article please view previous series.

How to manage stress

Do not assume! Delegate tasks!

Very often our stress is related to the fact that we carry too many responsibilities. Often we believe that others expect from us to be perfect and to do everything. Ask yourself this question: Did anyone ask me to do so much or is it really me having all that expectations and assuming that if I did not fulfill them others would be disappointed in me? Most often we find that it is really we having all these unrealistic expectations of ourselves being a superman or a superwoman. Stop! Do not assume! Ask the question and make a list of your responsibilities and delegate some of them to others such as family members, employees, and coworkers.

Relaxation techniques

Learn how to relax. Relaxation techniques such as deep and slow breathing and progressive muscle relaxation trigger the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest” mood) and as such help shut off the sympathetic nervous system, also called the “arousal mood”. In other words, physiologically, you cannot be in stress and heightened arousal mood and be breathing slowly and deeply at the same time!

Try the relaxation techniques for 5-10 minutes, 2 or 3 times throughout the day if you are having difficulties keeping your calm going through your day. Or take 20-30 min at bedtime if you have difficulties shutting off your mind and falling asleep.

Live a balanced life

Balance is a key element in native culture. We are complex beings consisting of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual components. Find your spirituality weather it is religion, or nature or just being alone by yourself; whatever that gives you the inner peace. If you don’t know it, then explore and find it for yourself.

Don’t complain about life and remember everything happens for a reason. Without black we would not appreciate the white, without pain we would not appreciate the happiness.

info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #4

2010-01-04T07:00:00.001-05:00

To read the beginning of this article, please view the series # 1-3. How to manage stress Be diligent with your routine and self-care behaviors During crisis and stress the first thing that suffers is the loss of our routine such as regular bedtime, eating, walking, and exercising. These aspects of our life get neglected because we switch to acute crisis and emergency mood. It is understandable that when you are in an emergency situation you need to react and not waste any time by doing other things. As such, our body and mind continues to be in crisis mood even in a chronic stress situation. So remind yourself, that you are not in any emergency; your stress is chronic and as such your need for healthy routine such as eating well, going for a walk and exercise is even more crucial. Increase pleasure When overwhelmed and under stress, we forget that there is such a thing as pleasure. We don’t go out and socialize as often as we used to. We often believe that stress management means to reduce stressors. However, sometimes, we cannot change certain situations and we have to accept them as they are and as such increasing pleasure is a good strategy to cope with difficult situations as a means to recharge your batteries. “Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.” Margaret Fuller Talk to someone It is important to understand that there is no shame in feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes talking to a friend and/or a professional will help to put thing in perspective, feel normal and understood, which in turn helps us see solutions and strategies that we might have been overlooking. However, do not just rely on your friend or psychologist. The key is to learn and rely on yourself! info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #3

2009-12-28T10:00:00.001-05:00

To read the beginning of this article please view series # 1. How to manage stress There are various skills to mange stress and each of these skills can be more effective than the others depending on your needs and circumstances. And as the old saying goes” don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, often a combination of these skills produce better results. Change your perception It often helps to take a new perspective in viewing our life, our problems and circumstances. Often we have an unrealistic expectation that life should be smooth and without problems. Aboriginal people believe that life means problems, and as such problems and difficulties are expected and accepted as part of life. That means that we can perceive our problems as “problem” and feel overwhelmed or perceive them as challenges and feel motivated to overcome them. The benefit with the latter view is that we shift from a problem-oriented view to a solution-oriented one, and naturally feeling encouraged searching for solutions. “Maturity is achieved when a person accepts life as full of tension.” Joshua L. Liebman Understand and identify the stressor Very often our feelings signal us that we are facing a problem without exactly knowing what the problem is, and as such feeling more confused and overwhelmed. In order to be solution-oriented, we first need to identify the problem. Do not ignore your feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, and experiencing insomnia. Even though you might not be directly aware of the source of the problem, your mental and physical state do communicate with you. Try to understand the language and do not just accept them as a “normal-for-me-state”. info@drbita.com

Christmas Depression

2009-12-21T15:58:00.001-05:00

Christmas is a time of celebration, giving and receiving; is about family, loving and being loved. However, it seems that Christmas is losing its true meaning and is becoming more and more commercial and more about “fulfilling our duty”: buying gifts, even if it means borrowing money from the bank and paying high interests on the credit cards. The reports show high rates of depression, suicide, anxiety, and stress during the holidays and many people report that they cannot really enjoy the holidays and “get into the spirit of the holidays”. In addition to the financial pressures, a multitude of things, such as loss of a loved one, failures, and loneliness can trigger Christmas-depression. People affected by one or more of these difficulties are more prone to developing depression during the holidays, especially when they cannot share the joyousness of everyone else. So it is not surprising that reaching out feels more awkward and more remote for them. Unfortunately, we have forgotten that we can be happy together without buying expensive gifts. How often do we hear ourselves say “ he does not need really anything so I don’t know what to buy?” Buying is feeling good and making somebody feel good. It is true that alone in Canada yearly $2 billion wasted gifts are made. In a world that there are young children and families that cannot have their very basic needs met; such as having a warm meal on the table, kids who do not have a toy or proper warm clothing, isn’t it questionable to buy something for someone when they don’t even need it? Instead of buying gifts that are not needed, why not get together and donate to the ones in need? Or how about becoming family to the lonely ones? Many people feel more depressed during the holidays just because they are lonely, or because they do not have supportive family. So let’s truly celebrate holidays and let’s give the gift of heart: GIVE LOVE. info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #2

2009-12-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

To read the beginning of this article please view series # 1. What is stress? Wikipedia defines stress as “a biological term for the consequences of the failure of a human or animal to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined. It includes a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism, and exhaustion. Common stress symptoms include irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate and a variety of physical reactions, such as headaches and elevated heart rate.” Stress can be in response to positive or negative events. For instance getting married and preparing for the wedding or buying a home can be stressful but they are considered as positive stressors. Nonetheless, a person going through theses type of experiences may feel overwhelmed, irritable and not in control. Stress can also be negative. For instance going through divorce, facing court-related issues, and financial difficulties are considered negative stressors because they involve feelings such as guilt, shame, fear, worries, and anxiety. However, often we may feel overwhelmed and stressed out just going through day-to-day responsibilities. This means that our threshold to cope might have decreased due to various factors related to our past such as, suppressed feelings, and unresolved conflicts. info@drbita.com

Stress Management Skills, Series #1

2009-12-16T17:59:00.001-05:00

We are living in a fast speeding society, which increases the competitiveness and pressure. Burn out, anxiety and feeling stressed are increasing and impairing the relationships and mental, social, and academic functioning. So I decided to write about stress.

How do you manage stress? How do you cope with it?

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Do you feel like you cannot handle it anymore?

Do you resort to eating as a means to cope? Does it work?

Or maybe you stop eating because you lose your appetite?

Do you try to give yourself a break by drinking alcohol? Does it make the problems disappear?

Do you become irritable, short tempered, and even aggressive (verbally or physically)?

Or you rather sleep off your stress and just want to be in bed?

Do you stop your healthy routine such as exercise, good eating habit, and relaxation and just focus on the problem on hand?

If you say yes to one or more of the above listed coping strategies, you are not alone. Many people cope with stress by eating, drinking alcohol, or distracting themselves in other ways. The problem is that all these coping skills may help for a brief moment but in general they are maladaptive behaviors that usually, in long term, magnify and worsen the problem. Let’s start by looking at what stress is. Why do we have such negative perception about stress? Why are we running away from it? To read more on this subject follow Dr. Bita’s series on Stress Management. info@drbita.com